The Spirit is Willing, but the Flesh is Stronger

If there was ever an image that could accurately describe the powerful hold that pornography holds on men (and women), this is it:

Its one that I stumbled upon in the realms of social media, where I follow of a couple of nerd art groups.

It immediately grabbed me, both on a visceral and spiritual level.

I will speak in generalities here, but I firmly believe I am very close to the mark on this one.

Men cannot stop staring at her. We are at once enraptured and ashamed to be seen looking at her.

We know she is evil, that she is far from good for us.

But we cannot look away.

She is composed to display the utmost in desirability and temptation.

We desire her. We do not even notice the other men she has already enslaved, even though they surround her.

Even within the midst of their bondage, they still seek her out. The "pleasure" is worth the pain.

She calls at men at a deep and instinctual level. There is nothing "rational" about it. Men would give even their very lives and livelihood to be with her.

For women (generally), she enrages and belittles.

• How could a wife even hope to measure up to or compete with her? Her "perfection" only makes another woman's "imperfections" and insecurities more pronounced.

• What kind of men allow themselves to fall for her? How dare these men even consider her, can't they see what she's doing? Is that all men think about???? Its degrading!

• And there are much more important concerns than sex. Bills need to be paid, houses need to be kept, children need to be taken care of. Why can't men focus on those things first????

Notice that the reactions are completely different. Males are "wired" one way, and females are "wired" differently. We act differently, and we think differently.

So it should not be surprising that males cannot think like females. Its not that males don't want to, they're just not wired that way. It's like asking a toaster oven to think or act like a microwave.

No, it makes no "sense" for us (speaking as a man) to desire her. What do we see in her? At our basest, we see a  woman who is voluptuously made and, at least the first time around, will offer no excuses why she can't have sex with us. In fact, she will not deny us any kind of sex. Sex without limits, and we will be the center of attention.

She will tell us how wonderful we are (and yes, she will be lying), and we will eat it up.

We will float on a pleasure cruise to our own destruction.

Obviously, this is such a large topic that I will have to serialize this and work in parts, but I plan to address both the Male and the Female aspects, with a focus on the Image of God, of which you need both to have His full Image.

But I will end this with questions, one for the Men (Husbands), and one for the Women (Wives).

Men: We have a deep desire to rescue and defend our women. We'll protect them from the most dangerous of events and conditions, but will we defend them from the day to day mundane events of the day?

Women: It is right that you, as a wife, should be your man's only sexual outlet. However, are you actually prepared to be his only outlet?

We'll address the Men in the next entry.

"Meddle Not in the Affairs of Dragons.....

"....for thou art crunchy, and good with ketchup." - Anonymous.

I think two conditions that we as human beings get confused about are "loneliness" and "solitude".

Both require us to be separated from other people. However, one is detrimental to us, while the other is beneficial.

We're all well acquainted with loneliness, from not fitting in during high school because we didn't wear the right clothing to being the odd-man-out in a room full of couples.

But this is harder. Its more than "you don't get to sit at the cool kids' table". Its the "Nobody wants you."

Be Cool Or Be Cast Out!

At heart, the message we are telling ourselves is that we are not worthy or good enough. We lack the capacity to be a proper human being.

"The world would be better off without me."

All of us want recognition and validation.

Validation is especially important if you are unsure of who you are. 

Then, to validate and recognize you, allow me to remind you of exactly who you are:

• "I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14 (Made by God)

• "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children." Eph. 5:1 (Child of God)

• "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." John 15:15 (Friend of God)

• "The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him." Rom. 8:16-17 (Heir of God)

I think we are starting to get a picture here. You are FAR from "worthless".

"But why don't I have a better job? A better house? A better car or truck? A better life? "

In other words, why can't I be one of the Joneses? Or Kardashians? Everyone else seems to have more things or better lives than I do!

Allow me to submit to you that this may be God's way of protecting you from a lot of heartache.

Consider the following:

"In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8 

What if, God is actually protecting you from that Rat Race? What if He gives you everything you really need, but not what you think you want?

All of the fighting, sniping, gossiping, back-stabbing, politicking, etc, is NOT your problem.

While the Joneses are doing everything to get more and destroy others, you are blessed and content with what God has given you, with the knowledge that He will continue to provide.

Consider also that we are to be a "Peculiar People" (1 Peter 2:9 KJV), meaning "set apart".

This separation from the "rest of the world" is the essence of Solitude.

We need this time alone with God to rest and recharge. To enjoy His Presence and His Creation.

We also enjoy His Protection and His approval simply because of His Son and His Grace.

Our value comes from The Father, not from the world.  Matthew 6:25 says "Do not worry about what you will eat, or what you will drink, or what you will wear...".  The Father provides us with these things, but He gives us so much more. He gives us Purpose. He gives us Meaning. He created us for a reason, and how blessed we are when we obediently follow His Will.

We're a lot less crunchy that way.

When The Bottle Wins.

UPDATED to better reflect.

This is honestly the feeling I get in my pastoral work sometimes.

Especially in marital counseling.

You'll work with a couple, ministering to them with love, patience, and a LOT of prayer and Scripture.

And you'll see changes. Positive changes.

You'll talk to them about being "transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2), and how the "new has come; the old has passed away" (2 Corinthians 5:17).

And you will see growth and changes!

The couple you are talking to now is completely different from the couple you started with six weeks ago.

God is doing MIGHTY works in them.

And then, the Bottle.

Someone will fall into The Bottle and kill the entire process.

One twist off on a Sunday, when they could have been in the church that they professed their love for, when they could have been fishing, when they could have been doing a thousand other things in the world...

But, instead, they chose The Bottle.

The Bottle makes them angry, makes them mean and looking for an argument when their wife comes home from visiting family from out of town over the weekend.

The Bottle empowers them enough to pull a gun and threaten to kill someone.

The Bottle gets the Sheriff called on them, and then arrested for Family Violence.

The Bottle, in one fell swoop, takes away the marriage, the home, the job, everything.

The Bottle Wins.

This is true power of the Demon that is The Bottle.

The Bottle controls the person by making the person think he or she is in control.

How many recovering addicts have said "I'm in control, I can stop it when I need to"? They may have even been functioning addicts, being able to keep a job and keep the bills paid so they must be doing something right.

But, in the end, The Bottle always wins. The Bottle is in control.

When things are good, we can "control" it and feel even better. When things are bad, we "control" it just to feel better. We lose judgement, we become our own worst enemy.

We hurt and injure everyone and everything around us.

The Bottle is in control.

It seems senseless. That's because it is senseless. There is no rationality to it. This demon thrives on irrationality. It thrives on senselessness. It thrives on the deepest of selfishness, rendering the addict powerless to prevent it.

Some will talk of an "out-of-body" experience - watching themselves drink even as they scream inside to stop.  But they can't.

The Bottle is in Control.

It is ironic then that the best way to "control" this demon is to surrender.

Step One of any 12 Step program is to admit that you are powerless against the addiction and that that addiction has made your life unmanageable.

It is admitting that you don't really have control. In a sense, it is giving up control.

Step Two is to seek the help of a Higher Power. Actually, it is letting a Higher Power have control.

Coming before Jesus as you are and letting Him have control of everything from now on.

Its much easier said than done. 

And its not just limited to Alcohol. Drugs, Food, Sex, we all have an addictive personality to something.

And we are broken and imperfect enough to relapse. Repeatedly.

Yet, the Blood on the Cross still saves us. Repeatedly.

Even after the gun, the yelling, the arrest, the probably impending divorce, there is still The Cross.

Even Scripture says so:

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39 ESV)

Nothing that we do can get Jesus to stop loving us. Nothing that we do can get the Father to stop loving us. Not even The Bottle.

Jesus has this knack of raising things from the dead, even when He is four days "late".

And that is why I keep ministering. Because the Blood still Works, and so must I.

And I still love these people.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Fox News had a recent story of a possible serial killer, as evidence by the discovery of the remains of three victims.

They are, as follows:

"...48-year-old Jewel King, who vanished in April 2006; 41-year-old Verdell Jefferson, who was reported missing in August 2006; and 43-year-old Dorothy Botts, who was last seen on Christmas Day of that year."

They had died 12 years ago.

While not explicitly stated, I believe that these pictures of the ladies are police mugshots, based upon tone, direction, and style.

I almost missed this story.

I also almost dismissed this story.

Except that my entire work week is ministering to people like these.

I can hear the epithets used now.

"Crack Whore". "Slut". "Welfare Queen." "Stoner". "Hooker." "Thief". "Trash". "Parasite".

Those are the repeatable ones.

The world may look at these ladies with disdain.  One can hear the collective sigh of dismissivness.

"No biggie, no big waste. No one will miss them."

The world finds nothing endearing about them. They didn't care for themselves, why should we?

But these are exactly the people Jesus was referring to in Matthew 25:40: "’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’" (ESV)

And just in case you might think that Jesus was just rambling, remember who He hung out with.

Hookers (Mary Magdalene). Thieves (Levi the Tax Collector, Judas Iscariot).

He was genuinely concerned about the Least of us. He commanded us to Love them.

And so I do. Probably not as well as I should sometimes, but at least I am aware.

I am aware that these ladies were also "Daughters". "Mothers". "Sisters". "Wives". "Friends".  I am humanizing them because that is exactly who they were; human beings created in God's Image and loved by other human beings.

And deserving of being loved simply because of that fact. The fact that they were knit together in their mothers' wombs. Fearfully and Wonderfully made.

Don't miss that!

Just a reminder for y'all today.